Practical Ways To Cope with your Child's Diagnosis

Receiving a diagnosis from a psychological evaluation means different things to different people. Some come to evaluations seeking an exact diagnosis in hopes that it will help get them or their child accommodations. While they can end the evaluation feeling relieved, others experience feelings of disbelief and/or sadness. Maybe they weren’t expecting a formal diagnosis or are having trouble figuring out what it all means for the future. And then there are some people that don’t know how to feel about it at all. Have you experienced any of this? If so, then you may have wondered what’s next for you. How are you to deal with all of the feelings that came up from this new information that you possibly weren’t expecting? Here are some suggestions on practical tools to use in effectively coping with your child’s diagnosis.

Understand what a diagnosis really is

While a diagnosis can sometimes feel life-changing, it is important to remember that a diagnosis does not change your child. Your child is the same child that came in at the beginning of the evaluation before you received any feedback. A diagnosis only puts a name to what they were already experiencing, and likely to the unique traits about them that you were already picking up on. A diagnosis is not the end of anything. Rather, it is the beginning of your journey to acquire exactly what it is that your child needs to live their most fulfilling life. A diagnosis is a gateway to services, accommodations, and specialized intervention as needed. It increases understanding of strengths and needs, and with the follow-through of your evaluation’s recommendations, it provides the specific tools to help overcome your child’s challenges.

Discuss further with your child’s providers

Please ask the psychologist who completed the psychological assessment for more information as needed. Psychologists are well-educated on the diagnoses they assign and can help you broaden your understanding of what it means. Your child’s teachers or IEP team, if they have one, are also there to support your child’s learning needs. Discussing the diagnosis with them can help give you perspective of how they plan to appropriately assist your child with this new information in mind. You may even choose to ask them about how they typically work with other students with similar diagnoses. Their responses can be comforting by easing some anxiety of what things will look like in the classroom for your child moving forward. Healthcare providers, such as your child’s primary care physician, can also be helpful resources in finding more services in your community to help your child succeed.

Do individual research

Use reputable sources to learn more about the ins and outs of the diagnosis and what it really means. You can typically know that you’re viewing a reputable source if it is a website that ends in .org, .gov, or .edu, or if it ends in .com but is authored by a professional in the field (feel free to double-check the credentials of the writer if you want to be sure). Doing this research can help to answer some of your lingering questions and provide a full picture of what to expect. Increasing understanding is often a pivotal step to coping effectively. Think about it: It’s hard to cope with what we don’t know or with false information. Learn the facts and check with your child’s providers as needed when you find that your research is not fully addressing the concerns you have.

Focus on success stories

While completing the above, keep in mind that the internet can be a scary place. (Have you ever diagnosed yourself with something much more serious than what you really had, thanks to a google search? I know I’m not the only one.) A lot of times we hear the worst possible outcomes when we’re searching for something, and then we mull over it because we don’t know how to leave it alone! Misery loves company, right? Not anymore. I encourage you to find things that will encourage you! Seek out the success stories of children and adults with the diagnosis your child just received. Frame your searches using wording that will attract this. For example, try searching “positive aspects of autism,” “school success with learning disorder,” “productive life with intellectual disability,” “overcoming [insert diagnosis here].” What you put out there is what you will receive. Of course, you want to be informed and have a full understanding for what the challenges are that you or your child might face due to this diagnosis. But please keep a balance. If you’re only reading articles about the struggle, just imagine how that impacts your worldview and perspective of what the diagnosis means. Find the success stories and read them just as often, if not more.

Join a parent support group

There are parent support groups for nearly anything you can think of that parents deal with! So of course, managing the more trying aspects of parenting, such as difficult behaviors and challenging conditions, are available in the community. Some of these are even virtual these days, such as Facebook groups, which can be found by a simple search in the online network or by asking another parent who may already be in one. For in-person parenting support groups, try out an online search of “parent support groups near me” or whatever city you’d prefer.

Discuss with a therapist as needed

Even with taking the steps above, some diagnoses and general experiences are just that much more challenging for any given parent. In my experience, diagnoses such as Intellectual Disability or Autism, have had the greatest impact on parents. But it’s not limited to just those. Any diagnosis received could have a parent feeling scared, disappointed, lost, upset, etc. This is normal. I repeat. This is normal! There are things that you may find you are grieving after receiving the diagnosis, such as certain dreams or hopes you had for your child/family that you wonder now if they will come to fruition. You may even feel alone in the process, if you don’t know anyone else who has a child with that diagnosis, feel uncomfortable sharing it with others, or find that those you’d want to talk to about it don’t seem to understand your experience. This is when therapy, whether group or individual, can come in very handy. If you are already seeing a therapist, bring this up with him/her. And if you don’t have one yet, try searching through your insurance or using an online directory, such as psychologytoday.com, goodtherapy.org or therapyforblackgirls.com. Let your therapist know what you fear most about the diagnosis, or what you find that you’re mourning the loss of or having challenges managing. Allow your therapist to process these feelings with you and help give you individualized tools to better navigate this newfound information.

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If you completed your child’s evaluation with us at Strengths and Solutions, know that we are here to help. We are more than wiling to meet with you for therapy or to simply discuss the diagnosis further. And even if you completed your psychological evaluation elsewhere, try out the above suggestions and let us know what you found most helpful. It takes a village and we are excited to be a part of yours.